We continue our journey into the Silent Amidah:

Last week we asked for knowledge and the wisdom to “make use of” that knowledge. Oh that mankind would one day have the true wisdom to do just that! Binah and Daat; knowledge and wisdom… and the heart to unite the two. But now we turn to (appropriately enough as we ask for help in making t’shuvah) to the prayer for One Who Desires Repentance.

RETURN us, our Father, to Your Torah, and bring us close, our King, to Your service, and return us with complete repentance before You, G-d, who desires repentance.

Here is a prayer blessed on what happened to Reuven, the firstborn son of Jacob (Israel). After the death of this stepmother, Reuben stressed to Jacob, his father, in what was an inappropriate manner; the he (his father) should be more ‘involved’ with his (Reuven’s) mother. Because of these remarks and actions he lost various spiritual benefits that (should have) accrued to him as firstborn son. Once he realized his error is addressing his father in that way, he repented for the rest of his life!

Later Moses blessed the tribes of Israel with words of G-d and he told the tribe of Reuven that; “Reuven will live in this world and not die in the world to come.” [Yechi Reuven v’al yamot:] This was an announcement that Reuven’s repentance was finally accepted by G-d. To which angels cried out; “Blessed are You, G-d, who desires repentance.”

The lesson to learn here are on several different and interlocking levels! So before we consider the relationship between this prayer and the one that precedes it, let’s consider some of the levels of understanding and meaning that we find here. First of all there is the plain meaning that we find in understanding the written word(s) alone.


We ask for help in returning to the path of study of Torah because we recognize that that is the way that G-d would have us travel, and we ask for His help because we (a) know that we cannot accomplish this on our own and (b) we believe that this is truly something that G-d desires.

Now on what other level of understanding can we consider this prayer? Is there a mystical aspect to this? Consider for a moment a rabbi of many years ago – one who arrives at least a half-hour early for minyan just so he can ‘prepare’ himself for the avodah shebelev [the (holy) work of the heart]. He then seriously and with deep emotion prayers the morning prayers, reads the words of Torah and concludes his prayers with another half-hour of meditation. He then goes home and studies Talmud for several hours before returning to the Beit Midrash to take part in collective studies. In the evening before going to bed he recites his prayers. The next morning, he arises early to recite Psalms before going to shul for minyan. If he feels the need to ask G-d for aid in making teshuvah… on what level of understanding does that take him?

Certainly he knows, in his heart, the words that he recites. Certainly he understands what he is asking for. So why does he pray so fervently for G-d’s help in this prayer? What is in this prayer that we are missing… or not understanding?

Now. Let us look at the relationship between this prayer and the previous one. In order for us to return to the study of Torah (which we recognize as something that G-d wants) we realize that we need the discriminating knowledge and insight to learn. Only after G-d grants us the facility to do so can we then apply them to the study of the learning of Torah. We now have the vehicle for study and the method by which we can return (come closer) to G-d.

Let me read a little from the bottom of page 105 and part of 106 [at this point you need the book to follow along...]

Final thoughts on this prayer: the Implications! In this prayer we are asking G-d to give us tools to effect changes in ourselves. The concept, the idea here teaches that whenever a person (feels a need to) change or improve a relationship, he must accept the responsibility for modifying his behavior himself.
If someone mouths these words without understanding the words and the essential meaning or the implications… then what?